What do you do with a Ratbird hat?

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Well, if there’s a bright spot from the Ratbirds game, this is it for me. It’s something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. OK, here’s the situation I was in. I’ll tell you what happened and what I did, and then I want to hear your comments about what you would do in the same situation. Titans vs Ratbirds, it’s halftime with the score tied 7-7, and I go to the facilities. After taking care of business, I’m heading out the door behind some real stupid-looking goofus dressed in fugly purple and he drops something on the floor..

So I have a quick decision to make. Being born and raised in Tennessee, I was brought up right and I believe in Southern hospitality so the first thought that came to mind was to holler out, “Hey, Buddy, you dropped something!”
 
Instead, the second option was more attractive, and really, irresistible, since what the guy dropped was a fugly purple-arsed Ratbird hat. So I couldn’t resist the urge to raise my right foot and stomp down on that fugly hat with a size 12 boot. And it felt so good that I wanted to let my left foot get in on the action, so another size 12 boot stomped that sorry-arsed fugly hat. That felt pretty good, so I jumped up in the air and let about 230 pounds or so, plus several pounds of Titans clothing and paraphernalia, land on the fugly Ratbird hat.
 
Then, just in case I missed a spot on the hat, I gave it another stomp, just to make sure. Then I gave it a swift kick into the wall before I left.
 
So tell me, did I do the right thing? What would you have done in that situation? Option number one, being polite and showing some Southern hospitality, or would you choose the course of action which I took?
 
And then, after the fact, I thought of a third option. I could have picked up the fugly hat after I was done stomping on it and then dropped it in a urinal for Titans fans to p*** on it the rest of the night.
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11 Responses to “What do you do with a Ratbird hat?”

  1. Browns Fan Says:

    You absolutely did the right thing. Do not second guess yourself.

  2. Nick Says:

    Maybe you should order some more Ravens hats from ebay to stomp on with all the free time you’ll have not watching the Titans in the playoffs.

  3. Josh Says:

    I would have returned the hat to the guy who is obviously your lord and master. Instead you showed some real class, TENN-style.

  4. Joe Cool Says:

    Awwww a little bitter are we? Real class shown to a visiting fan who spent hard earned money in these tough times to drive or fly down to your city and spend that hard earned cash all weekend long pumping money into the local economy. Now he has to spend more of that money to buy another hat. Douche. Enjoy watching the AFC Championship Game…

  5. Sean Says:

    Worked out about as well as that towel stomping incident a few weeks back.
    Way to show some class. Enjoy the golf course along with the entire Titans squad while the AFC’s big boys work out that whole Super Bowl thing.
    Go Steelers,
    Sean

  6. Peter Says:

    What’s with Tennessee and their total lack of class. First stomping on terrible towels, now this? Shame on you all.

  7. Dude Says:

    The level of class expected from an NFL fan.

  8. doctajones Says:

    Man, you really showed that Raven fan what for!
    SCOREBOARD, Holmes!

  9. Seth Leonard Says:

    I’m still with you, Strickert. Tennessee actually is a classy place.
    As for all you haters, bite me.

  10. JohnnyRev Says:

    Maybe you learn how to win a big game before you go doing something that is going to make you look bad in the end. Have fun rooting for titans this week …oh sorry your team got stomped not some hat !

  11. Andrew Strickert Says:

    Thanks to all for your comments. For the record, the first part of that article is true. A Baltimore fan did drop his hat but unfortunately I wasn’t close enough to inform him or notify him. I figured that in a minute his ears would get cold and he’d retrace his steps to retrieve his hat. Of course, I didn’t stomp on the guy’s hat and I even would’ve returned it to him if possible. I embellished the story a little bit after that just to see what kind of reaction I’d get and if it would bring any extra traffic to the site. The reaction was about what I expected and after posting the article, we got the second-most traffic on the site for the month, so that worked out pretty well.
    Ravens fans, thanks for your comments. Congrats to you and to your team. The Ravens were the better team. The scoreboard said so.

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